Basically, I'm just so boring.

Looking at the phone from 10am until now. I'm afraid that people are looking at my every move, so, I'll just pretend I'm typing on a document or something.

Maybe this is what people said - PARANOID.

Working place is fine provided there is no asshole, no kiss-ass jerk, no overly 'iwanttohavethebossattention', no 'thisisnoneofmybusinessandfigureitoutyourself', no 'thisisinappropriateandsowrong' - Excuse me? What did I do?

EY has this thing call, 'bestbig4firm' and everyone agree with it, even myself, the lowest position excluding cleaners, mailman, filekeepers, receptionist, Okay, my point is I'm only a vacation trainee.

And fuck it, I am so agree with the 'bestbig4firm' award to EY.

Come on, which firm allows vacation trainee to do works outside from photocopying, faxing, filing, data-keying? Not saying that, I did none of that, frankly, I did all of that.

But I get to see the picture of auditing, what is the objective of it, how can it be done and most of all, I get the meaning of 'true and fair'.

It is not easy though. The past 2 months, I have been participate in auditing this engineering company and it came out this question 'What power do an auditor have?'

People outside usually say, Wow, you auditor? everyone must be very scare of you at the end of the financial period.

But seriously?

Let's come out with a situation.

Client not giving you any documents you wanted, they only give you what they wanted you to audit.
- I actually heard this statement by a client.
You found a lot of mistake, misstatement, balance cannot tie, etc. You ask client to adjust but client insist not to adjust. All you can do is, remove the 'true and fair' from the auditor report.
- I actually heard this from a senior.
And whether the board will something or not, is up to them.

Wtf? So, auditor do not have a power to tell the client, HEY YOUR STAFFS SUCK AT ACCOUNTING, FIRE THEM?

Nevermind, maybe they will improve next year. But all you get is the same cycle repeating.

I remember in a lecture, a lecturer said, Auditing is not only checking whether the company is reporting sincerely, it is also to improve the company reporting method.

Too bad, the book can never fight reality.

Okay, back to my daily life.

It is not okay to not see your bf once a week.
It is not okay to wash dishes for bf's family every time I visit, come on, I'm the guest!
It is not okay to let bf's mother to talk bad about me behind my back, not even infront of my face.
It is not okay to dress up like a old poor widow everyday just to go to work.
It is not okay to stuck in traffic for at least 3 hours per day.
It is not okay to not eating meat and rice.
It is not okay to not do shopping twice a month.
It is fucking not okay.

This temper is getting really out of control when the hunger attacks. It is somehow ridiculous yet happening every single day.

Oh, did I forget to mention I physically, intentionally and nobodycanstopmely on a diet plan?

The diet plan is known as, 'only eats a meal a day and that meal is usually a piece of bread'.

This is way out of my idea. I just can't stand he keep saying, "ehy, you very fat ady, when only want on diet?"

What do I look like now? An elephant? or a hippo?

Oh my god, I want food so badly. To prove this statement, I can and believe me I will have my food when the time comes and someone will definitely get harm from there.

Owh, there is another engagement for me to work on. Too bad I'll have to stop here. I thought I am having a good time here. It seriously release all my stress, especially there will be no one looking at me. It is like a online small little diary.